Ever jumped hastily into a new relationship?
Because you felt lonely or adventurous? Or couldn’t say no to someone?
Ignoring warnings from your inner voice.
It just happened to me.
Want to hear?
From Riding a Mare to a Nightmare
Here’s the story.
We are nearly done. Beltina, an eight-year-old ginger mare, nervously raises her head. She is on alert—her neck’s tense and strained, ears are all over the place.
Maybe it’s this hissing wind outside that makes her nervous? I don’t know.
But she is not paying attention to me. “That’s enough, get off her now,” my inner parent pleads. But a teasing imp wants more fun, and I send Beltina to trot once more.
Ever wished to spool back the time?
Spooked out of her mind, Beltina bolts, catapulting my helpless body into the air with the tremendous power of one scared horse. Then down into a gravity grip.
Excruciating pain explodes in my right hip the moment it hits the ground. Keeping me down twisting in pain, barely able to breathe.
The Hulk in a paramedic uniform carefully bears my yammering body out of the riding arena. An ambulance rushes to the hospital.
X-rays, scanners, blood pressure control . . .
Friendly nurses nod understandingly, chatting about their horses and falls.
. . . Fractured bones. Painkillers. Relief.
Could I have prevented the accident?
Shall I explain?
Mutual trust is a foundation of every good relationship. Jumping into a new adventure with someone you barely know is hardly a bright idea. Don’t you agree?
But that was exactly what I did. I fell in love with this bubbly mare that I just got. But I didn’t trust her, and she didn’t trust me back.
Being with her I didn’t trust myself, either.
Back Side of the Moon
Don’t jump into the unknown river hoping to survive.
Because you might not.
When you fall in love with someone, you need to believe he has good intentions towards you. No matter what.
But how to build trust?
- Know your partner. His dark side, too. Learn his shortcomings and fears. See them with open eyes.
- He will make mistakes especially when he’s scared. So will you. Trust yourself that no matter what happens, you will pull through. So will he.
- Don’t close your eyes to an uncomfortable feeling that might nag you from time to time. Find out what it’s trying to tell you.
- Set boundaries right from the beginning. Respect his and protect yours.
- Be clear about your own and his intentions—what do you want from the relationship? Put it on the table.
For your own good.
Edited by Melanie Eckner
Image by Stock-snap