“In a garden of everyday experience, we uncover unexpected treasures.” – Charlotte Joko Beck, Zen teacher
How often do you want things to be different in your life?
A bigger house, new smartphone, or more cash? A perfect partner or kid? A breathtaking body or outstanding experiences?
Yep.
Welcome to the club of human beings.
Most of us find it difficult to be satisfied with what we have. We expect life to be as we want it to be and fully under our control.
So, we push and pant, and push again fixing things, looking for solutions, setting one goal after another, hoping that each step will bring us closer to happiness.
But does it?
Perhaps, for a short while, until we find another problem to fix or goal to pursue.
But, when life refuses to follow our script (as it usually does) and spins out of control like a car on an icy road, we feel betrayed, disillusioned, and discouraged. We are victims of our circumstances.
Sigh …
Are you, too, struggling to stay on the road and missing out on the scenery outside?
If so, stay with me.
Generous Gifts of the Universe
I believe that the right books, people, chances, or ideas come to us when we need them. If we keep an open mind, we are able to recognize these gifts of the universe.
That’s how Joko Beck’s book Nothing Special: Living Zen came into my life. It presented itself in a lovely cartoon from my writing teacher Henneke Duistermaat.
“Joy is being willing for things to be as they are.” – Charlotte Joko Beck
“Really?” – I thought … and logged in to my Amazon account.
In a few days, I found myself in a world of Zen.
So, how can the ancient wisdom of Zen Buddhism help us today?
Let me share with you what I learned from the book Nothing Special: Living Zen by Charlotte Joko Beck.
Follow me.
Anything but Pain
Going through our daily routines, we’re seldom present at the moment. Instead, we’re absorbed by dreams and memories, busy judging others or ourselves, and complaining about the unfairness of our lives. We are not free.
From Nothing Special: Living Zen:
We’re obsessed with comfort and security, so we try to control everything. We seek pleasantness and pursue excitement; we try to avoid anything that may disturb us or cause pain. So, we overwork, do drugs, drink too much, drive like hell, or get angry.
From Nothing Special: Living Zen:
What Is Life Suppose to Be?
Most of our lives, we react to other people, to circumstances of our lives, or to our own thoughts and feelings. The way we react is usually the same. So, who’s in control here?
From Nothing Special: Living Zen:
Ouch, it hurts.
In order for pain to go away, we must stop running from it, says Joko Beck. Instead, we must be willing to accept life as it is. It means embracing life and death, pleasure and pain, good and bad. Learn to be in the present moment, comfortable with who and where we are.
We may still have our preferences, but acceptance is the key.
From Nothing Special: Living Zen:
We have to recognize that we can’t manipulate life to satisfy our needs and wishes.
The Troublesome Nature of the Human Mind
Our minds like to stay busy producing thoughts basically non-stop. And they will, if we let them. We take these thoughts seriously, often acting on them as if they were the truth.
But according to Zen, our thoughts are just thoughts—a product of our minds. They are not the reality, and we must not act on them.
However, knowing our thoughts is a good thing.
We can learn our thoughts by labeling them. Notice a certain thought and put it into words: “I can’t stand him today,” “My life is terrible,” or “I wish that never happened to me.”
From Nothing Special: Living Zen:
Labeling our thoughts helps us to become aware of the feelings and bodily reactions they awaken.
This may sound easy, but it takes lots of practice. Being aware of our thoughts is hard work.
At the same time, we shouldn’t try to change our thoughts or push them away. Just stay with them for a while, and then continue with whatever you’re doing.
From Nothing Special: Living Zen:
Don’t’ try to get rid of your thoughts, just keep looking at them, again and again. When you do, they fade into nothing. Anything that fades into nothing isn’t very real. But reality doesn’t disappear just by being looked at.
As we begin watching our thoughts and feelings, they begin to dissolve. They can’t maintain themselves without our believing in them.
Why Do We Need to Pay Attention?
Nobody is fully present all the time, but the majority of us rush through lives unaware of the biggest part of our life’s experiences. No wonder we often feel unsatisfied and not fully alive.
Essentially, Zen practice is about functioning from moment to moment. We don’t have to feel good to function, according to Joko Beck.
So, just pay attention to whatever you are doing. Get absorbed by it as you get absorbed by a great book.
Ones More About Joy
I find the concept of joy the most intriguing part of Zen teachings. The way they understand joy doesn’t come naturally to us. I mean, would you believe that bad things could be enjoyed just as good ones?
Yep.
Your first reaction is probably “No way!” So was mine. Nevertheless…
From Nothing Special: Living Zen:
I have struggled with this, to be honest. How can we enjoy something bad?
Then I thought of Mom, and how her horrible illness brought forgiveness and love to both of us.
I thought of my horse accident that sent me to the hospital with broken bones. And I spotted joy in an unexpected feeling of being free. Free from all the must-do things that allowed me to enjoy being in the moment, living one day at a time.
There was joy in finding ways to cope with pain and restricted mobility, in being curious and creative. “How can I move my notebook from one room to another with crutches in my hands?”
From Nothing Special: Living Zen:
By joy I mean curiosity.
Ideally, we keep the openness, curiosity and wonder of a baby yet have the mature mind and ability of an adult.
Life is what it is, neither good nor bad.
From Nothing Special: Living Zen:
When we truly live each moment, if we are totally what we are, we begin to experience life as joy.
Standing between us and life of joy are our thoughts, our ideas, our expectations, and our hopes and fears.
Sometimes, things go well and we have a good feeling. But this good feeling is very different from joy, because it’s built on circumstances.
There’s always body tension in self-centered happiness, according to Joko Beck. Joy has no tension in it, because joy accepts whatever it is as it is.
So to enjoy life, we must accept what is going on, including the moments we hate. Just be aware of our feelings: “I don’t want to do it, but I’ll do it anyway.”
“Happiness has an opposite, joy doesn’t.” – Charlotte Joko BeckClick To TweetThe Magic of Each Moment
Zen is a philosophy and a practice. It’s not about changing who we are or what we do. It is about being observant and seeing clearly what’s before us. It’s about experiencing what’s going on with us.
Without awareness of our sensations, we are not fully alive. – Charlotte Joko BeckClick To TweetEven though we choose not to practice Zen in its pure form, we can tap into its wisdom.
We can learn to be aware of our thoughts, feelings, and sensations. As much as possible, we can live in the present moment and be curious about life. Remember to be grateful for what you have and for who you are. Have no expectations and avoid disappointment. Don’t judge and strive to become less self-centered. You can do your best when helping others.
From Nothing Special: Living Zen:
… That’s time to peel potatoes for the millionth time. I don’t want to do it but I’ll do it anyway. Humming to the oldies on Spotify together with my honey.
Life is wonderful.
All links used in this article are non-affiliate links.
Share what you find most helpful in the comments below or send me a private message. Visit my Facebook page. Join me on Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest. And if you enjoyed this article, share it with your friends. Thank you!
Images by Henneke and Pixabay
Leave a Reply